


Behind the Scenes in Homestuck Porn

by BlossomofFireandRain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A mention of bestiality?, Characters discussing stories, Characters playing out the fantasies of the writers, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 21:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomofFireandRain/pseuds/BlossomofFireandRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's going behind all the fanfiction?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind the Scenes in Homestuck Porn

**Author's Note:**

> This work is in no way meant to mock or otherwise deride other writers. It is merely meant to be enjoyed and laughed about.

GG: aaaaaand... wrap! good job everyone! :)

TG: Shit, Bro, think you could pound my ass a little harder? Geez, man.

TT: Ain't my fault you don't use your safe word, little man.

TG: Yeah? Well, safe words are for pussies.

TT: Dave, that's not how you're supposed to be doing this.

TG: But you don't use them, duuuude.

TT: Yeah, but I like the pain, you don't. Do I have to ban you from the set again until you start remembering them?

TG: Ain't no way you can keep me out of here. The fans love me. Alas! The un-fortunes of being a star! The eyes! The hair! The-

CG:OH MY FUCKING SHIT, SHUT UP, IDIOT! IS HE FUCKING ARGUING ABOUT THE SAFE WORD AGAIN?

TG: Hey, shut it, Vant-ass. You know as well as I do you don't like using it either, or did you forget that last scene together?

CG:UNLIKE YOUR PUNY HUMAN SKIN, I CAN HANDLE SOME DAMAGE!

CA:Kar dont lie you wwere wwalkin funny for a wweek just start usin them

CG:AND I WAS GAGGED! SO YOU CAN'T JUMP MY CASE!"

TG: Well, then drop the fucking bell, man! It's not like we'll think any less of you than we already do!

-Karkat and Dave continue to squabble, Feferi and Sollux exit their room-

CC: O)( my glub! Are t)(ey going at it again!?

TA: Ehe, FF, when are they not goiing at iit?

CC:*rolls )(er eyes* Weeell, anyway, w)(at's our next assignments?

GG: Hm, rarepairing. Eridan, you're with Bro, topping, but from the bottom. also they want nooks and bulges. :B

CA: again wwhy cant they just choose a set o genitals an stick wwith it i wwas just gettin used to the human bulge

GG: Hey, we're not in charge of this. You know what they want. :/ Also, Sollux, you have a scene with Karkat, with mind-altering drugs, no psionics.

CG: HA! SUCK IT, BULGE LORD! MY TURN TO TOP!

GG: Karkat, they also asked no painplay, so easy on the claws. >:/

CG: AWWW.....

TA: Who'2 laughiing now, iidiiot braiin2?

CG: AT LEAST I DIDN'T DO A SCENE WITH MY OWN FUCKING BEES!

TA: Ehe, fuckiing.

GG: Also, where's Equius?

GA: He Is Still In With Dirk I Believe

GG:Okay, well when he gets out, he has a scene with Roxy that he needs to get to. Also, does anyone know where Aradia is? I haven't seen her since the scene with Lord English, and she's got a scene with Feferi in a highschool au.

CC: O)( glub me! Please s)(ell me it's not anot)(er catfis)( fig)(t! Please?

GG: ......Fine. Then I won't tell you. :/

CC: O)( s)(ell!

GG: Has Rose left the tentacle room yet? Wasn't she in there with Cronus?

GA: They Are Both Still In The Showers Washing Out Slime

GG: Okay, then after that she's got another "classy lesbians" scene with you, bring the whip. And Cronus is needed with Latula. Something about hatefucking over Mituna. ;D >:D

GA: I Will Endeavor Not To Laugh This Time At Roses Prim Face

GG: You'd better! How many times did we take that shoot!? D: 

-Cronus and Rose enter the room-

CA: wvait wvat is this about me bein wvith latula i thought i wvas wvith kankri again

GG: Nope, Latula. Thought you wanted a break from Kankri. Do you have the Extra Stretchy Nook feature enabled?

CA:Wvhat? not again

CG: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. AT LEAST WE HAVE THAT FUCKING FEATURE NOW. MUCH BETTER THAN WHEN WE DIDN'T....

TA: Hey, we promii2ed not two talk about that! II diidn't mean to, a22wiipe!

GG: Oh for fuck's sake- Someone separate them! Will someone just find Roxy so I can get this stupid spawning dildos scene over with!? >:[

EB: We're out of whipped cream.

GG: AGH! Bark! Oh, shit, forgot to turn that off. John, I thought we stocked up on that last time we made a lube run.

EB: Yeah, but they keep on having me use the whipped cream for lube. So we've still got lube.... Just not whipped cream. And my next scene involves me "pranking" someone again.

GG: Fine, take Dirk when he gets out, and go pick up some. Pick up some more trickster dust while you're out. :/ I have to go tell Nepeta she's got a scene as a crazy cat shipper again.

-curtains close-

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at NuclearVampire.tumblr.com


End file.
